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Showing posts from October, 2017

Dadwatch Day 17 - Life in the ICU

Dad has showed immense progress. Is he speaking? Not really. But he has begun to nod yes and no. Not with 100% accuracy but enough for us to know he is there. From time to time he will get this faraway look but when he is alert and present it is wonderful. As far as his strength, he amazes us. He tries with all his might to pull himself up with one good arm (that had limited mobility and was arthritic prior to this). So his determination to get better is there. Days like these are bittersweet because I'm happy for him but sad that I still have to go to the hospital and leave my family. Mr. Man has been my rock and for that I love him even more. I'm hoping tomorrow brings more good things. I'm off to get a few winks before I leave.

Dadwatch Day 13 - Life in the ICU

I know I haven't put up any Dadwatcch posts before this but frankly I'm bored out my mind. Dad is sleeping and I'm here watching closed caption tv on mute. There was just a code blue a few doors down and thankfully the person seems to be okay. My days are filled with doctors, nurses, therapists, paperwork and other stuff  that makes everything at times difficult to deal with.  I just want to sit here with Dad and talk. Unfortunately, he can't speak so it's hours of yes, no, blank stares, half smiles and attempts to get up although half his body won't cooperate. I feel like my kids and husband are being ignored although not one has complained. I feel like my life is not mine but everyone else's. Frankly, I'm burning out and I know it. I want to cry daily, especially when I leave my kids in the evening to come to the hospital. They are continually making sacrifices that kids shouldn't have to make. I'm thankful for Mr. Man who has been amazing but

When life throws you 10000 curveballs!

Dad has been in the ICU for 11 days now. I'm not sure what tomorrow brings. But I'm trying to take it  day by day. While I want my Dad  to get better and walk out of this hospital, I have to realize the opposite may be a possibility. He's in his late eighties and the thought of living life without him is extremely difficult. For the past 5 years, I've seen him almost daily and we had our routine of breakfast, driving and getting scratchers. We were each other's buddy. So now, I find myself lost. I want my Dad and buddy back but more than that I don't want him to suffer. I will continue to cheer him on as long as he continues fighting. In the end, he and the man upstairs determine what happens next.