Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Trying to hold it all together....

For the past couple of months, I have started to write a new post only to go back and delete it. I am being pulled in so many different directions that I didn't know what exactly I should write of. Our financial position is not a whole lot different. Mr. Man did get a new vehicle so our debt total did go up some for the time being. Thankfully we are in a good place at the current moment and need to focus on that. I've also been sick, the kiddos have been sick and finally on Easter Sunday, Dad had a minor medical emergency. He's 86 years old and although very active, he's still EIGHTY SIX years old.  Now, I'm left to decide what is our plan moving forward.  Should we find a bigger home and tell Dad to move in or allow him his independence while dividing time between our home and his. And also why am I the only one seriously considering this option. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Some days I want to live carefree and just enjoy my kids and husband but life isn't allowing that.  Then, guilt creeps in and I feel terrible for just wanting a "normal" life even though I know nothing is ever "normal" for anyone. In the end, I know that I won't be content unless I know Dad is okay and at the moment it seems like I'm the only one who can provide that for him or for that matter WANTS to provide that for him. It's tough, no one tells you these parts of life. It's not always fun but in the end I know its the right thing to do.