Friday, December 14, 2012

A long long week...

One week ago today was the last time I saw my mother.  She passed away on Saturday, December 8th.  There was no warning or sickness to let us know something was wrong.  Just a frantic call by my father.  I have never felt so helpless in my whole life.  In an instant, my mother was gone.  My heart is broken.  She was my everything.  She kept our family going and always was there for us.  I find myself barely holding it together.  I know she is in a wonderful place but I just want another moment with her.  She had always told us how she felt when her mother passed.  She said "It feels as though your world is ending."  That is exactly how we felt.  In our crazy circus of a family, we were the clowns and she was the ringmaster.  We all reacted to what she did.  It just came naturally to all of us.  So without her here we find ourselves a bit lost.  Who will be there to greet us at the front door with a big smile and hug?  Who will offer us something to eat over and over, each time ignoring our "No thanks Mom" till we finally say "yes"?  Who will give us the most honest of opinions and advice even when we don't want to hear it?  I am trying to be grateful for the time she was here with us but I can't help feeling angry, confused and hurt.  I know only time will help our pain. I just wish she could have stayed here with us just  a bit longer. Mom, I love you, I will never forget you and I will do my very best to honor you.  May you rest in peace with the angels. Te quiero Mama.

4 comments:

Lena said...

I'm so so sorry about your loss!

~Carla~ said...

Oh my.. :( I'm so very sorry for your loss... (((Hugs))) You're in my prayers.

Jolie said...

hugsss to you. I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

QandADebt said...

Thank you ladies. I sincerely appreciate it.